Like a lot of people I know, I struggle with things I don’t understand. I often find myself looking for answers, assuming responses, and imagining outcomes. I have come to realize that there is a big difference between a thirst for knowledge and a demand for understanding. Knowledge is most often new, it is an adventure, a revelation, the learning of something that had been previously unknown while understanding is often the interpretation of something previously misunderstood. Understanding is definitely not a bad thing, but I have learned that a demand for understanding often requires knowledge to take a backseat to expectation. This means that I often assume an outcome based upon what I understand and in that moment I close myself up to learn or experience something new.
This past Sunday our prayer pastor Geannine shared a beautiful message on the resurrection of Lazarus from John 11. In the message she did an outstanding job of candidly sharing about Martha and Mary’s response to Jesus’ arrival, four days after Lazarus had died. Martha was clearly disappointed and angry and Mary was distraught and mourning but in both of them it was evident that they didn’t understand. If Jesus had come when they expected Him to their brother would have been healed, would be alive and they would have been spared the grief of loss. My own life situations that I did not understand have caused me to have both the reactions of Martha and Mary. I have been angry, disappointed and frustrated. I’ve gone even further and entered into discouragement, became cold in heart and disinterested. I’ve been overcome by grief, surprised by sadness and paralyzed by unmet expectations. Martha and Mary did not understand why Jesus didn’t come quickly, they didn’t understand why He didn’t heal their brother, the one He loved, His friend, they didn’t know why he had died. In reading the story it seems that the lack of understanding had pushed Martha to frustration and Mary to grief, I believe I can safely say we have all been there.
In Psalm 139 David writes about God’s knowledge of us, that He knows our thoughts, knows our ways, our words, our days, our frame and our hearts. In the midst of extolling God’s incredible knowledge of us, that He doesn’t simply know what we do but He knows who we are, David writes, “Such knowledge is too wonderful for me”. There are many times in our lives in which we don’t understand, David is attempting to turn our attention during those times, from the fear of the worst to the reality of God’s Fatherhood, from an expectation of disappointment to a reminder of God’s goodness. In Jeremiah 33:3 God said “Call to Me and I will answer you and I will tell you great and mighty things which you do not know.” When Mary and Martha called Jesus to come because Lazarus was sick they expected Him to heal their brother, that was a great thing they knew, they had faith for what they had seen and experienced. In that moment, in that event God heard them call but He wanted to tell them not something they knew but He wanted to tell them something great and mighty that they did not know. They didn’t understand that Jesus was going to use their brother to reveal His power over death, to foreshadow His victory over the grace. They didn’t know so they couldn’t understand, not because God was infinite and they were finite, not because God was coming to redeem a bad situation or turn something sad into happy, they didn’t know and they didn’t understand for one simple reason, God’s plan, His knowledge was too wonderful for them to understand. They didn’t know it in the moment but I am positive they shared it for the rest of their lives, “don’t be afraid, don’t be discouraged, don’t be offended, don’t be disappointed, don’t judge your circumstances by your understanding and don’t demand to understand before you can or will believe; when you don’t understand it is simply because what He is doing and what He has planned is too wonderful for your current understanding.”
It is in these things that we find, sustain, and learn to have a sense of wonder. The God that does what you expect and only what you understand demands no awe and creates no wonder, but the God of all things, that spoke and the earth was formed, that made man from clay and woman from man’s rib, that gave a rainbow to promise He would never flood the earth again and used a barren woman to start His great nation, a barren woman to carry the forerunner of the Messiah and a virgin to give birth to the Son of God, He evokes constant wonder by His abundant surprises with words, actions and love that is far too wonderful for us to understand. I encourage you today, if it is today, tomorrow, in a few years or was a few years ago, the next time you don’t understand the circumstances and events in life, rather than demand an answer, repeat David’s words, “such knowledge is too wonderful for me” and prepare your heart for wonder. The awesome God is not bound by our understanding, in fact, I believe He takes great pleasure in blowing our minds and revealing His love. As the prophet wrote of Jesus, not only would His actions be wonderful, but He Himself will be called “wonderful”.